She’s Not Crazy, She’s Just on a Different Operating System: ADHD, Women, and Hormones

Let’s get one thing straight: she’s not crazy. She’s not lazy. She’s not “just bad at adulting.” If anything, she’s running a completely different operating system than the one the world was designed for. Welcome to the wild world of ADHD in women, where life isn’t built around our beautifully chaotic, 28-30 day cycle—but instead around the predictable, robotic 24-hour hormonal rhythm of men.

The Great Hormonal Divide

Most of modern life—work schedules, productivity expectations, even the research that informs ADHD treatment—is based on the assumption that everyone’s body resets every 24 hours. That’s cute. Meanwhile, women with ADHD are operating on a full moon cycle of hormonal shifts, and let’s just say it’s not a seamless experience. Estrogen and progesterone ebb and flow, affecting dopamine levels, mood, and focus in ways that science has only recently started paying attention to.

For men, testosterone stays relatively stable day to day, which means their focus, energy, and emotions are more predictable. For women? Some days they’re laser-focused and unstoppable, and other days they feel like a sentient pile of laundry. Why? Because estrogen plays a huge role in dopamine regulation, and dopamine is the ADHD brain’s best friend (or worst enemy). When estrogen dips—like before a period—dopamine function also takes a nosedive. Hello, brain fog, impulsivity, and the sudden urge to run away and live in the woods.

The “Why Am I Like This?” Cycle

Women with ADHD often experience a monthly rollercoaster:

• Week 1 (Follicular Phase): Estrogen starts rising, and so does your ability to function like a human. Your brain is firing, your ideas are flowing, and you might even think, Wow, maybe I don’t have ADHD! (You do, but enjoy the moment.)
• Week 2 (Ovulation): Peak estrogen. You are a god. Productivity is at an all-time high. You’re making lists, following through on plans, maybe even organizing that junk drawer.
• Week 3 (Luteal Phase Begins): Estrogen dips, progesterone rises, and suddenly everything feels like an uphill battle. Brain fog creeps in, motivation disappears, and your impulse control is now on “free trial expired.”
• Week 4 (The Dark Days): Estrogen is at its lowest, dopamine is nowhere to be found, and you’re questioning every life choice you’ve ever made. Simple tasks feel impossible. Everyone is annoying. Why is breathing so loud?!

Then, just as you’re about to Google “can you fire yourself from your own life?”—BOOM, your period starts, estrogen climbs, and the cycle resets.

So… What Now?

Understanding this cycle is a game-changer. Here’s how to work with your hormones instead of fighting against them:

• Plan for the peaks: Use your high-estrogen weeks to tackle big projects, make decisions, and lean into high-energy tasks.
• Give yourself grace in the low-estrogen weeks: This is not the time for life-changing commitments. If your brain wants rest, let it rest.
• Support dopamine naturally: Protein, movement, sunlight, and yes, even chocolate, can help support your neurotransmitters.
• Rethink productivity: You’re not failing at life; you’re just operating on a cycle that wasn’t considered when society made the rules. Adapt them to you.

The Takeaway

Women with ADHD aren’t broken—they’re just trying to function in a world that wasn’t built for their biology. So next time you feel like a completely different person from one week to the next, remember: you’re not crazy. You’re just running on an elite, 30-day operating system in a world built for the 24-hour default mode. And that? That makes you powerful.